Tip #3 – Be yourself and Be Honest
First dates are about first impressions and, of course, you would like to make a good one. However, remember, if you are looking for a long term relationship, there needs to be truth in advertising. For instance, if you are a jeans and t-shirt fellow, don’t wear Armani on a first date. It sets the bar to high for long term sustainability. Take your general look up a notch, but don’t overdo it. Also, if you are wearing something that is out of the ordinary, you are far too uncomfortable to be charming.
When discussing your lifestyle, don’t try to sound impressive. Your life is great the way it is and you want a potential partner who fits into that life rather than one for whom you have to change drastically. It is not in your best interest to tell your date that you like High Cotton and performing arts at the Peace Center if you really prefer pizza, beer, and a movie. This kind of fib may seem innocuous, but it sets a standard in your date’s mind that is not accurate and will be a source of contention in the future. No, it is best to be honest about how you live your life – even if it isn’t glamorous or trendy.
We all like to have a nice night on the town with a nice dinner, maybe a few drinks, and possibly some other entertainments. However, don’t blow your budget!! Yes, splurging a bit for a first date is fine, but try to not set a standard that your date will want to see met continuously. Tonight actually, a friend asked me if a gift certificate is appropriate for a first date. After some thought and discussion, we came to the conclusion that it is fine to use a gift certificate on a first date, but try to do so discreetly. He made an interesting comment saying, “There ain’t no shame in my game.” And that is a true statement! He wants to save money, but still have a nice date at a really nice establishment. And, well, times are hard for everybody! There is no shame in that. If you have to choose between, let’s say, Ruby Tuesday’s (where I ate tonight) or High Cotton and a gift certificate makes the difference, use it! If that’s the way you roll, well baby, roll with it. It is honest, a good decision, and you and your date get to experience a nice restaurant without killing your wallet. And, if your date has a problem with it, great! It is better to know that they are going to bleed you dry before they do it.
In the end, for a first date, you need to up your game. But, if your game is football, don’t try to play polo on a first date. You might get lucky, but more than likely the experience will fizzle and not be as fulfilling as an honest date.
You are who you are. I want you to find somebody who will appreciate you for who you are and not the Armani clad, opera going, lobster eating, big spender you made yourself out to be.
Tomorrow is Tip#4. Check back, only two more tips! Are you ready to tackle a first date?