I recently watch “Queer Streets“, a documentary about life on the streets for gay, lesbian and transgender youth in New York City. There is one phrase I heard from several of these children and it bothered me: “I’m fabulous!” This is one phrase in the gay community that is overused, seriously overused. I have the feeling that the people who use this phrase think they are:
A) Madonna or
B) Could be a back up dancer for Madonna
In the end, they are neither. In one scene, a young, thin, good looking guy is laying on the sidewalk outside of Sylvia’s Place, a homeless shelter, and he looks at the camera, explaining why he doesn’t have a job, and says, “I’m fabulous!” The most horrible thought popped into my head, “Honey, seriously, you are not fabulous, you are literally gutter trash.” Now, I know that sounds harsh, but lets define some things.
Gutter: A small channel at the roadside or elsewhere, to lead off surface water.
Trash: That which is worthless or useless; rubbish; refuse.
Now, I don’t believe anyone is worthless. We all have inherent worth, but we are not all fabulous. So, he was in the street, “gutter”, and he was useless, “trash”. That was the thought, bad as it was. I’m not happy to have thought it, but it did get me thinking.
So, I came up with a list of required conditions for being fabulous. I hope this list will help my young gay brothers to not just assume they are fabulous but work to make it happen.
1. A job: All other things hinge on this. You have to be able to afford fabulous to be fabulous.
2. A car: Nothing is less fabulous than having to beg rides here and there. And, keep in mind, if you have your own car, keep it clean: cleanliness is next to fabulousness.
3. Have your own place: If you choose to have a roommate, fine. However, it is not fabulous to tell a date you can’t go back to your place because you live with mom and dad. And having six people sharing an apartment with two beds, rotating sleeping shifts is not fabulous. And remember, a clean place is a happy place.
4. Make and keep good friends: This is not about numbers, money or popularity. It is about you being the type of person that other people like to be around. Fabulous people attract good people and treat them well.
5. Be Creative: Beyonce = creative. Lady Gaga = creative. Robert Verdi = creative. James Akers Jr. = Creative.
6. You should be an interesting conversationalist: Fabulous people can meet and talk with anybody! Your job at the Gap, your night at Scandals, or your friends’ drama is not good conversation. A fabulous life is worth hearing about.
7. Good credit: It is not fabulous to spend outside of your means. Honey, it’s not about the label you wear, it’s about how you wear it. Style is not bought, it just is.
8. Have your own style: Anyone can dress off of a mannequin. Anyone can wear what’s “now.” But Lady Gaga is fabulous because she doesn’t and still looks great! Be bold and be yourself!
9. No fear: Fabulous people are going to be disliked by someone. There will be those who try to tear you down. Let them, don’t worry about them, because in the end: you’re fabulous!
10. Know who you are, love who you are and know your self-worth: people, there is nothing more fabulous and attractive that someone who owns their own space. This is not be confused with those pretty muscle boys who are rude, self-centered and treat people badly because they “know” they’re cute. No, this quality transcends time and will never wrinkle or sag. It’s the spark that starts the fire of Fabulous!
There you have it! My list of what makes one fabulous. So, how’d you do? Are you fabulous? Am I fabulous? Only time will tell, but until then, work on loving your self! That’s the start. To quote Ru Paul, who is the definition of Fabulous, “If you can’t love yourself, how the Hell you gonna love someone else? Can I get a’ Amen?”